Tell Your Body "It's OKAY!" Building Your Spirit Up, So That Your Weight Can Come Down

How many weight loss videos, blogs, books, articles, or shows have you consumed? How many diets have you tried, had success with some, failed with others, and then given up? Maybe you kept the weight off for a while, only to experience a major life event that sent you back to square one.

Whatever your story, know that you are not alone. As women, we are navigating insidious dynamics in a world that constantly demands more from us while offering less in return. We are trying to create lives filled with joy, yet we are often inhibited by rigid and harmful standards imposed on us. Yes, weight impacts BMI and overall health, but it is also deeply intertwined with how we see ourselves, how the world perceives us, and our proximity to what society deems as beauty. This is even more pronounced for Black American women and descendants of chattel slavery, where body image, self-worth, and survival have long been entangled.

In our quest for health, beauty, and fulfillment, the odds are further stacked against us by capitalist structures that inflate food prices, impose the pink tax on women's products, and maintain wage gaps. As women, we also face the biological reality of pregnancy if we choose to mother, along with the societal expectation to be caregivers—roles often unpaid and unappreciated. And let’s not forget the toxic chemicals lurking in our food, beauty products, and environment, all of which disrupt our bodies and increase stress hormones like cortisol, making it even harder to reach the ideal of health that so many of us chase.

But the barriers to our well-being do not begin in adulthood. They stretch back to childhood and even before. Our DNA carries the imprints of our ancestors’ experiences—this is epigenetics at work. Generations of stress, survival tactics, and trauma are encoded in our very being, influencing not just our emotions but also our metabolism, fat storage, and ability to release weight. This is why extreme discipline, tough mental grit, and self-punishment have failed so many of us. The issue isn’t just willpower—it’s the burden of history, of generational pain stored in our bodies.

So what is the answer? It’s time to give yourself grace. It’s time to show deep compassion for yourself, your past selves, and the women who came before you. Their struggles were real, and they live on in you—but you do not have to carry them forever.

Let me share a personal moment of realization. As I prepared for a 25-day dry fast through a phenomenal health coaching program called A Healthy Alternative, I was determined that this time would be different. I knew I needed to stay inspired, not just disciplined. One way I chose to uplift myself was through music. I played Good Vibes by Ayah the Light, a song that reminded me of the last time I had success in my weight loss journey.

I took a break at work, put on my headphones, and stepped into a single-occupancy bathroom. As the music filled my ears, I felt an urge to look in the mirror. I met my own gaze, and in that moment, the floodgates opened. I pictured my younger self—the girl who endured emotional abuse, who felt uncomfortable in her developing body, who didn’t know how to handle the attention of adult men who disregarded her innocence. I thought of my grandmothers and my mother, who endured unspeakable abuse at the hands of men who claimed to love them. I saw all their pain reflected in my own eyes, in my own body. The fight-or-flight response that had been ingrained in them was now stored in my body as fat. But carrying their pain wasn’t serving me—it was suffocating me.

The tears streamed down my face as song after song played, each one carrying me deeper into this moment of release. I wrapped my arms around myself and whispered words I desperately needed to hear: It’s okay. You are safe. You are held. You are loved. No one is going to hurt you anymore. And in that moment, I knew—I was ready to let go. Let go of the weight that was crowding my life. Let go of the burdens that were never truly mine to carry.

This is the power of mirror work. It allows you to stand before yourself, vulnerable and honest, and embrace the version of you that has been waiting for love and acceptance. It allows you to tell your body that it no longer has to protect you through fat storage, because you are finally safe. It allows the girl inside you—and the girls before her—to feel free.

So, to the women reading this: You are not failing. You are not weak. You are carrying generations of survival in your body. But now, it is time to release. Time to nourish your spirit, build yourself up, and give your body the permission it needs to let go. You are more than a number on a scale. You are a living, breathing testament to resilience, and you deserve to experience the lightness that love, compassion, and healing bring.

Tell your body, It’s OKAY! And watch how it responds with grace.

You're Worthy of Wellness Which Comes from Within!